I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
its not stalking. its research.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
