Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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