Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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