I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
