so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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