I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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