You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
