He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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