They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Hippo gnu deer
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
