Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
