By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
