38 yer olds are good kisserssss
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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