We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
