oh god the rape fog is back!
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
