On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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