just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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