Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
why is half of my head shaved?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
