So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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