when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
