I think my vagina is haunted
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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