My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
