With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
