I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
