your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
