The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize