if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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