Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
