I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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