ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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