if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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