do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
