Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
two words: eviction party
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
