When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
