also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
