All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
