Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i wish my penis had a tongue
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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