this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Couch. On fire.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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