I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
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