Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
they need to just BURY HIM!
Even my vagina gasped.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
