Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
