1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
