He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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