When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
