dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
