Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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