Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Houston, we have a blender
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I am mentally ready for anal.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
