i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
