didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
