you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Ladies don't puke and tell
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
