wat bout pragnant strippers??
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
