She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
