Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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