mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Text me some of your sweat
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
