There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize