Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
