If i come over, it means nothing
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
