I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
