i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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