Ambien. No doubt about it.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
