Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Farmville is her only friend.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
