I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
