Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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