Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
